You’re Not Just Going Through Changes… You’re Being Rearranged from the Inside Out

I used to think healing was just about getting better—as if life had handed me a detour, and all I had to do was find the right path back.

But that’s not what happened.

My healing didn’t take me back. It took me in.

And in that descent, I discovered something that changed everything:

I wasn’t just going through changes. I was being rearranged from the inside out.

It started the way most big changes do—abruptly. My football career ended. My gut began to unravel. Autoimmune diagnoses followed. The body I once trusted as a machine of performance turned into something I no longer understood.

I was desperate to fix it. I tried everything—diets, supplements, cold plunges, red light, lab testing, you name it. And for a while, I was convinced that if I just found the right protocol, I could out-strategize the chaos.

But beneath all of that effort, something deeper was happening.

Something I didn’t have language for yet.

I remember one night, laying on the floor, my gut spasming, my thoughts racing, my nervous system lit up like a live wire. I had done everything right that day—clean food, nervous system work, stillness. And yet there I was, in pain again. I pressed my hand to my belly, tears rising without warning.

That’s when I felt it.

This wasn’t about inflammation. Or food. Or even trauma.

This was about something being undone inside me.

A deeper part of me—one I hadn’t known how to listen to—was surfacing.

Not to be fixed… but to be felt.

Healing, I learned, isn’t linear.

It’s not a staircase of progress. It’s a spiral of death and rebirth.

And the rebirth doesn’t begin with achievement.

It begins with surrender.

I began to tremor. To weep. To listen to my body like it was sacred ground instead of a problem to solve. I let myself stop striving. I let myself be ministered to.

And in that stillness, I saw what was really happening:

God wasn’t asking me to tweak my habits.

He was inviting me to be rearranged.

Piece by piece, my inner architecture began to shift.

My nervous system rewired itself—not through force, but through safety.

My gut softened—not from control, but from compassion.

My identity began to shed layers—performer, achiever, fixer—and something new began to emerge.

Something truer. Simpler. Rooted.

I started living from my body instead of against it.

I started hearing God’s voice not just in the scriptures, but in the stillness.

In my breath.

In the ache of release.

In the holy ground of my own trembling chest.

And now, as I walk with others through their healing, I don’t offer a quick fix.

I offer a path home.

Because I know what it feels like to be caught in the swirl—when your body is loud, your heart is tender, and everything familiar is being pulled away.

It feels like you’re falling apart.

But I promise you: you’re not.

You’re falling into alignment.

Into truth.

Into the version of you that isn’t just surviving anymore—but ready to thrive.

So if you feel like everything’s shifting and you don’t recognize who you are anymore…

If your body is speaking in discomfort, in fatigue, in tears that won’t stop…

Take a breath.

You’re not just going through changes.

You’re being rearranged from the inside out.

And on the other side of this holy undoing—

Is you.

The real you.

Alive. Grounded. Whole.