The Root of Suffering: Resisting What Is & The Freedom Found in God’s Love

For most of my life, I believed that healing was something I had to force—something I had to figure out, control, and relentlessly pursue. Whether it was overcoming my autoimmune conditions, breaking free from trauma, or even trying to build a life for myself, I fought my way forward. I thought if I could just try hard enough, if I could just push past the pain, I’d be free.

But the more I fought, the tighter the struggle became. Like a Chinese finger trap, the harder I pulled, the more stuck I felt. My resistance to my own reality—my pain, my circumstances, my past—only deepened my suffering. I didn’t realize that true freedom wasn’t in pushing harder but in surrendering. And ultimately, in that surrender, I found something I never expected: the love of God waiting for me.

How Resistance Creates Suffering

I see this pattern in so many people I work with. Whether it’s physical pain, anxiety, or the weight of unresolved trauma, there’s a natural instinct to fight against it. To push it away. To deny, suppress, or overanalyze. But this resistance only deepens the suffering.

Think about the Chinese finger trap. When you try to force your fingers apart, the trap tightens around you. The only way to free yourself is to do something counterintuitive—relax into it. Instead of pulling away, you press inward, and suddenly, the trap releases.

This is how healing works. The more we resist what is—whether it’s pain, grief, uncertainty, or fear—the more trapped we become. But when we soften, when we lean in, when we accept the reality of where we are, something shifts. The grip of suffering loosens.

But there’s something even deeper here. What are we leaning into? What are we surrendering to? Because if all we do is accept pain without a greater hope, it can feel empty. This is where God’s love changes everything.

Surrender Is Not Giving Up—It’s Falling Into Love

For years, surrender felt like weakness to me. I thought if I let go, I’d lose control. But what I’ve come to realize is that surrender isn’t about giving up—it’s about falling into the arms of Love itself.

When I hit my lowest point with ulcerative colitis, my body was shutting down. I had tried every diet, every supplement, every biohack, and nothing was working. I was in a constant state of fear—afraid of what would happen if I didn’t find a way to heal, afraid of what I’d lose, afraid that my body was permanently broken.

Then, something happened. I reached the end of myself. I remember sitting in prayer one night, exhausted, and whispering, God, I don’t know what to do anymore. I give up. But instead of feeling despair, something else came over me—peace. It was like God was saying, You were never meant to carry this alone.

For the first time, I stopped fighting. I let myself be held. I let myself rest in the truth that I am deeply loved, even in my brokenness. And from that moment, healing took on a new form. My circumstances didn’t magically change overnight, but something inside of me did. I wasn’t carrying it alone anymore.

Healing Begins With Trust

Surrendering to God’s love doesn’t mean passively waiting for life to get better. It means trusting that even in the struggle, He is working all things for our good. It means releasing the tight grip we have on our own understanding and allowing something greater to guide us.

Here’s what surrender looks like in healing:

• Instead of fighting against pain, we invite God into it. Rather than resisting emotions or discomfort, we ask, God, what do You want to show me in this?

• Instead of obsessing over control, we choose trust. We stop trying to force outcomes and instead believe that even in uncertainty, we are held.

• Instead of fearing the unknown, we rest in love. God’s love is not conditional on our performance. We don’t have to have it all figured out. We don’t have to “heal fast enough.” We are loved right where we are.

The Path to Freedom

The truth is, suffering isn’t about pain itself—it’s about our resistance to it. And the antidote to resistance isn’t just acceptance. It’s surrendering into Love.

If you feel stuck—whether in your body, in your mind, or in your life—ask yourself: Where am I resisting? Where am I trying to force something instead of trusting God?

The answer to suffering isn’t to push harder. It’s to let go. Not into emptiness, not into uncertainty, but into the One who has loved you since the beginning.

The finger trap only tightens when we fight against it. But the moment we relax, the moment we lean in, we find the freedom that was there all along.

And in that space, we discover that we were never alone.