Rebuilding Trust: Walking Through the Fear to Find Safety

I used to think trust would come once I finally felt safe. That at some point, my body would just relax, the anxiety would disappear, and then—I’d be able to trust.

But I was wrong.

Trust isn’t built after fear is gone.

Trust is built by walking through fear—by stepping into discomfort, feeling the uncertainty, and moving forward anyway.

When the Body Screams ‘Danger’ but You Are Safe

One of the most profound lessons I’ve learned in healing is this:

Your body can feel unsafe while you are actually safe.

For trauma survivors, this is hard to grasp. The body has spent so many years reacting to triggers, scanning for threats, and associating discomfort with danger that it’s difficult to tell the difference between real danger and a false alarm.

This is because the brain doesn’t know the difference between real and imagined fear.

If the mind perceives something as threatening, the body responds as if it’s actually happening. A childhood memory, an uncomfortable conversation, or even just a feeling of uncertainty can send the nervous system into full-blown survival mode—heart racing, muscles tensed, breath shallow. The body is simply reacting to perception, not reality.

For most people, this happens in mild ways—a nervous stomach before public speaking, a racing heart watching a scary movie. But for someone with trauma, this mechanism is turned up to full volume. Trauma wires the brain to see everything as a potential threat, making it nearly impossible to distinguish between what’s actually dangerous and what just feels dangerous.

Take my recent tooth extraction with a biological dentist.

If you had asked me beforehand, my body would have sworn to you that I was in danger. My heart was racing. My stomach was tight. My mind was running through worst-case scenarios. The old wiring in my nervous system screamed, Something bad is about to happen.

And yet, when I actually observed the situation, something strange happened.

I was sitting in a clean office, surrounded by professionals who knew what they were doing. I wasn’t being harmed. I wasn’t in actual danger.

I was just… uncomfortable.

Trust Is Built in the Discomfort

That moment was a turning point for me because I realized something profound:

The sensation of fear and the reality of danger are not the same thing.

I was feeling unsafe, but I was actually safe.

And this is where active trusting comes in.

Instead of trying to force myself to relax, I let myself feel it all. The discomfort. The anxiety. The tension. And instead of running from it, I walked through it.

The key to rebuilding trust is not eliminating fear—it’s moving through it.

Most people think trust will come after they feel safe.

But trust is built by choosing to step forward before safety is felt.

It’s walking into the anxiety.

It’s sitting with the discomfort.

It’s recognizing, My body is reacting, but I am actually safe.

And on the other side of that experience?

Relief. Rewiring. Deep safety—not from avoiding discomfort, but from proving to myself that I could move through it.

How the Nervous System Rewires Through Trust

Every time we walk through fear and come out safe on the other side, the nervous system gets a new message:

I felt fear, and I was okay.

I felt discomfort, and nothing bad happened.

I don’t need to live in a constant state of defense.

This is how trust is actually built—not by waiting until you feel comfortable, but by teaching your nervous system, through experience, that safety is possible.

• The first time you trust your body and walk through discomfort, it’s terrifying.

• The second time, it’s still uncomfortable.

• The third time, a little easier.

• And eventually, your body begins to believe: I am safe.
  

This is how we go from a life dictated by trauma responses to a life built on real, embodied trust.

Trusting First, Then Safety Follows

For years, I thought safety had to come before trust. But now, I know the truth:

You don’t build trust by waiting for safety. You build trust by stepping into fear and coming out safe on the other side.

And if you don’t know how to do that yet—that’s where I come in.

Creating Habits That Rewire Your Nervous System

If you’ve lived in survival mode for years, I know how impossible it can feel to just trust. You can’t force it. You can’t fake it.

But you can build it.

When you work with me, you’ll learn time-tested strategies and embodied practices designed to condition your nervous system for trust, safety, and resilience.

We do this by:

• Creating habits of self-care and regulation that help you shift from a reactive state to a calm, grounded one.

• Training your nervous system through real-life experiences so that over time, trust becomes an embodied reality rather than just a concept.

• Rewiring your internal patterns—replacing fear-driven responses with a deeper connection to your body’s wisdom and authentic self.

• Over time, as these habits take root, something profound happens: you begin to return to who you truly are—not the conditioned, hyper-vigilant version of yourself, but your real, authentic self.

The self that isn’t ruled by fear.

The self that isn’t constantly bracing for the worst.

The self that trusts, flows, and moves through life with a deep sense of safety.

And it all starts with one thing:

Walking through the discomfort, trusting in the process, and experiencing for yourself that safety is something you can create.