Coming Home to Myself: The Weight of Striving Is Gone

I didn’t expect today to be different. I woke up, just like any other day, carrying the same questions I’ve been wrestling with for years:

• How do I truly accept myself?

• Am I really safe to just be as I am?

• If I stop striving, will I still grow?

Self-acceptance has been one of the hardest battles of my life. Not because I don’t believe in healing, but because deep down, there’s always been a voice whispering: “You can’t do that.”

It’s the same voice that’s been there since I was a kid—the one that was told I was a problem, too much, too wild. The one that learned that in order to be loved, I had to perform, to fix, to improve.

And even after all the work I’ve done, even after years of healing and staying faithful to this path, I still felt like self-acceptance was just out of reach.

But today, something shifted.

The Moment It Clicked

I was sitting in a bath, reflecting on this journey, when I felt something I hadn’t felt before—peace.

Not the kind of peace you force yourself into with breathwork or meditation.Not the kind that comes and goes depending on how good your day is.But a deep, undeniable knowing that the weight I’ve been carrying is gone.

For so long, I believed self-acceptance was something I had to achieve. That one day, after I did enough work, after I reached a certain level of healing, I’d finally be able to accept myself.

But the truth?

Self-acceptance was never something I had to strive for. It was already here.I just had to wake up to it.

And as soon as I did, the tension in my body, the pressure in my mind, just released.

I don’t have to make myself change.I don’t have to prove that I’m worthy.I don’t have to fix anything about myself.

Because it’s already happening.Because God is already at the helm.Because this transformation is inevitable.

The Voice That Tried to Stop Me

The moment I felt this shift, the old voice came back.

"Hey, you can’t do that.""You can’t just accept yourself. That’s dangerous.""What if you stop trying and everything falls apart?"

But instead of arguing with it, instead of letting it pull me back into old patterns, I did something different.

I spoke to it with compassion.

"I understand your concern. You’re safe. I love you. And I’ll take care of you as we move through this time."

And just like that, the voice softened.

I realized that the part of me resisting self-acceptance wasn’t my enemy. Itwas just an old protector, trying to keep me from getting hurt again. It didn’t know that I didn’t need it anymore. It didn’t know that I had already stepped into something new.

What If This Is the New Normal?

As I sat in that bath, fully embracing this lightness, this peace, this knowing, another thought hit me:

• What would it be like to walk through life like this?

• What would it be like to coach clients from this place?

• What would it be like to be a husband, a friend, a brother, a son—from this place of wholeness?

Because this isn’t just a moment. This is a new way of being.And I know now that there’s no going back.

I don’t have to grip onto this transformation, afraid it will slip away.I don’t have to maintain it like some fragile mindset that might break.

Because it’s already done.Because this was always the path I was meant to walk.Because the striving is over.

And now, all that’s left is to live.

An Invitation

If you’re reading this and you’ve been caught in the endless loop of self-improvement—if you’ve felt like you’re almost there but not quite, like self-acceptance is something you still have to earn—I want you to pause.

Take a deep breath.

And ask yourself:

• What if this transformation is already happening, and I don’t have to force it?

• What if I am already seen, already enough, already exactly where I need to be?

• What if the weight I’ve been carrying was never mine to hold?

Because I promise you—it’s already unfolding. You don’t have to make it happen. You just have to wake up to it.

And once you do?The weight will lift.The struggle will dissolve.And you’ll step into the life that has been waiting for you all along.

I think I’ll take a walk along the beach today.Not to clear my head.Not to figure anything out.Just to be.

Because for the first time in a long time… that’s enough.